My world has been up and down, up at the minute I think. I feel like spilling my guts up on the counter and weighing them in for jelly beans. Or pulling faces at passing drivers while I am on the bus. Normal one minute then tongue out, fingers pulling mouth wide and crazy eyes although not cross eyed cos I can’t do it. Or daring to go outside without my cardi! OH MY, the horror the shock how wanton is she eh? What I need is a straw hat and a cat disguised as a donkey. Urban country bumpkin, high heels and matching eyebrows. Even better would be a huge inflatable bubble. I’ve tried imagining one but doesn’t work so well, greenflies keep getting trapped and dying on my window ledge. There is no emoticon for that.
Saw a man on the bus. Mentally ill I think, he kept swearing and shouting and banging the seat in front of him with his stick. Not nice cos he was very aggressive and I had the unfortunate pleasure of sitting adjacent to him. Even with my music full blast I could hear him. Hurt my ears it did, esp the right one which was closest and the muff is missing off that earphone.
So yes if you’re interested I am up for grabs. Take me and do what you will. I’m made of plasticine so you can remodel me to resemble anyone you like, even a cake if you wish (shush Glowey). Make something out of this car crash; I am all out of ideas. They all centre around badgers.
Got the tattoo sourcebook from the library yesterday morning. Returned it in the afternoon. The best way to choose a unique tattoo is to choose one that isn’t in a book. No flaming skull eating wotsits for me oh noe! It’s all cheetos from here on in. Or more likely red mill cheese puffs cos they are two for a quid in farmfoods. You should all come shopping with me. I am great at picking out gifts for people I have never met. One day I am going to go to tesco and do a fantasy shop. Fill a trolley up with all the good stuff then just abandon it. Pretty cruel cos the staff will have to put it back and ice cream will melt so there’s a good reason not to do it... or maybe just steer clear of the fridge and freezer sections. See even in my madness I refuse to waste food. Don’t care much for ice cream anyway; it would not be on my fantasy shopping list.
I’ve got a sty on my eye. It hurts. No make up for me for a while. Naked face all the way and I’m not wearing any knickers.
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