I dreamt about you last night.
One of those dreams that get tied up with half awake memories.
Things you said.
Being with you under the tree.
Seeing the yearning in your eyes.
What if I'd said yes?

You didn't keep your word.
You didn't check in with me.
I didn't think you would.
You probably thought it would do more harm than good.
But what you don't understand is,
It was never about picking up where we left off or changing your mind.
It was something to show that those three months didn't amount to nothing.

I want to make Dirty filthy love with you.
I want to do things to make you blush.
I want to make you laugh until you turn blue.
I want to wrestle with you and lick your neck.
I want to sit down next to you and slip my arm around your middle and rest my head in the crook of your armpit.
I want to make you jump with my crazy psycho face behind a magazine.
I want to squeeze your hand in secret so you know I am there.
I want to shout "HONEYPIE! I'M HOME!" when I come in the door.
I want to throw my arms around your neck when you bend down to kiss me.
I want to make things with you
I want to go on walks with you, show you things.
I want to smile at you when you are busy.
I want to look up and see you smiling at me.
I want to dream next to you.
I want to teach you things.
I want to have secrets with you.
I want you on my side, by my side.

Dear you

My life seems a little bit empty without you.
Only because I have less to do.
I think what life would be like with you still in it
And it turns out
I am glad you're not.

You would have been the one,
The right one,
If I wanted to continue to punish myself,
If I wanted to continue hiding away from my true nature,
You would have been the perfect fit.
But you're not.
It is freeing to admit that.
I don't have to hide anymore

It wasn't quite love
But my heart was open to the possibility.
I shall keep it open for someone else.

If they can't love themselves
They will never love you

An Accidental Rhyme

I know exactly how good it feels.
I feel it too.
It wouldn't be so good
If it wasn't you

Truly

I feel very emotional.
There is no one around to hear me cry.
Maybe that's a good thing.
I'm very tired.
I reached the point where I didn't want to do this anymore,
Didn't want to be here.
But outside, under the light of the moon, I realised it's all good.
Despite this sadness,
Despite this pain,
I am happy.
Truly.

You have me lost for words
It feels so delicate I am afraid of breaking it
Afraid of thinking too far ahead
Then I hear your voice and it brings me back
And i giggle and smile like a fool

Do me a favour.
Before you jump,
Before you get in the car,
Before you cross that threshold and peel back that seal -
Make sure it's what you really want.
This woman is non-returnable.